Elle Magazine
Plastic Surgery Aftershocks
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She's excited, she's bruised, she's a little
embarrassed.... she's also two sizes smaller. Julia
Norwich on what happens after the bandages come
off.
I knew the time would come when I'd have cosmetic
surgery; I was brought up to suffer for beauty.
Metal curlers. Merry Widows. High heels. What's
a week or two of bruises in a lifetime of vigilance
and sacrifice? The question wasn't whether, but
when-and how to afford one of the great plastic
surgeons. This is not an undertaking likely to reward
the bargain hunter.
Then I signed a contract to write a book, for which
I was to be paid a respectable advance. It didn't
escape my notice that the subject of the book is
a woman I admire who would never voluntarily submit
to the ministrations of a sharp instrument, except
to have her hair cut. I acknowledged the irony.
Then I called a doctor whom I trust absolutely and
asked him to recommend someone to fix what bothered
me. He referred me to Darrick Antell, MD.
I signed up with Dr. Antell before I'd even
gotten the check from my publisher. Time
was short: It was May, and I was determined to look
better than I'd looked in ten years by the July
Fourth weekend. The plan: surgery on upper and lower
eyelids, liposuction under chin and liposuction
on the nether regions (between waist and mid-thigh).
The part of me that aspires to be taken seriously
as an intelligent woman (not the part that has been
heard to say I'd trade a few IQ points to be ratcheted
up on the beauty scale) understood that I'd eventually
have to find a way to turn something so superficial
into an act that would raise the flag for a Larger
Idea. But there would be time enough to think about
that while I was recovering, during those first
few days when my eyes were too swollen to read.
Given three days to do little except think, I
was sure I could come up with a theory.
Following the path off which I've often leapt
prior to looking, I turned up at Dr. Antell's wood-paneled
Park Avenue office for my surgery. (His operating
room is in the basement of the building.) After
I undressed, he used a marker to outline the places
he'd attend to. It was some slight consolation to
know that no one would ever see me in this configuration
again.
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